Sweets and I recently worked ourselves into a frenzy with a great anti-valentine idea. Inspired by released transcripts of public figures saying naughty and explicit things to the objects of their affection, we agreed that some of these catch phrases would be perfect on Conversation Hearts.
These little snippets of sexual insight serve as a wonderful reminder of the diversity of human desire. Photoshop helped create these naughty virtual Conversation Hearts, the perfect empty calories. The authors of these wittisms? Click on the hearts for the source.
- E MAIL (hmmm, not SHE-MALE?)
- PAGE ME (for your local drug dealer I imagine)
- GET REAL (ouch! Or maybe this is one for your virtual lover?)
- IT’S LOVE (I’m so relieved! And I thought it was herpes…)
- MY BABY (2nd in popularity to the YOUR BABY heart!)
- LOVE LIFE (well, I’m a fan of PRO-CHOICE)
- HEART OF GOLD (because WELFARE MOTHERS MAKE BETTER LOVERS doesn’t quite fit.
Making your own explicit conversation hearts is fairly easy provided you have the proper items on hand.
- box of your favorite Valentine candy hearts
- food coloring markers
First step, sand the pre-existing text off of the candy hearts. Place the sandpaper on a flat surface and rub the heart on it in a circular motion. A fairly fine grit will leave a smooth enough surface for writing on, without scratch marks. Oddly enough I found that the non-texted side of a heart doesn’t take up ink as well. It tends to bleed out and feather too much for legibility in this tiny space.
Brush off the powdery sugar residue and pen your own sayings with food coloring markers. The traditional color of ink for Conversational Hearts is red, however, fun could be had mixing up the colors of your text. Rubber stamps may work, if you have ones small enough to fit in the work area of a candy heart.
Give your dirty talking skills a fun practice run on these candies for your Valentine. Now that’s my style of aphrodisiac!